#BEDM14: My name is Alex

My name is Alex.

Rarely Alexander.

Sometimes Bert.

I work.

I read.

I write.

I play.

I live with my best friend.

I’m half an inch taller than him.

He’s 5’6 (and a half)

I weigh somewhere between 8 and 9 stone.

I’ve never weighed more than 9 stone.

I’m white.

Like Casper-white.

I have brown hair.

It’s decreasing rapidly.

I have one sister.

Her name is Sam.

I have a Vauxhall Tigra.

His name is Terrence.

My mum is confused why my car is not a girl.

She thinks it’s a gay thing.

I just like the name Terrence.

Oh, I’m gay.

At least in theory.

I nearly had a boyfriend once.

I’d like to actually have one, one day.

I’ve actually got my eye on someone.

But I’ll consider any offer.

Any offer.

But not from you.


My middle name is James.

I once ran the London Marathon.

Most of it.

I’m 26 years old.

And a half.

I’m a Leo.

I love EastEnders.

I’ve written a book.

But you already know that.

I’m about to write my second.

I don’t like people.

I need my alone time.

I get lonely.

I’m a contradiction.

I’m a man.

Just in case anyone was in any doubt.

I love cheeseburgers.

I don’t like vegetables.

I do like to drive Terrence on a sunny day.

I’m a lovely person.

At least I think so.

I am many things.

I once walked into a hammer.

I’ve pinched John Barrowman’s bum.

I’ve drunk champagne with Jennifer Saunders.

I’ve been there.

And back again.

I prefer savoury to sweet.

I’m at my most uncomfortable when my feet are cold.

I have a black iPhone.

I have a purple sofa.


My name is Alex.


Prompt: Make us want you.


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