Probably not, and especially not now that I’ve wasted 13 of those words on the blooming sentence.
And now thirty.
ANYWAY, I was born and raised in Swindon.
I spent the first eleven years of my life living with my mum and dad and sister, until my mum and dad divorced (a story that would take 250 pages, let alone words).
My dad moved out – I remember being quite surprised at how quickly it happened – and then life changed, and I adapted and everything was ok. No big trauma sorry.
Life ticked along, I went to college and studied Psychology, Law, English Language and Philosophy. At the same time I got a job in the local WH Smith.
Worked my way up through there, and eventually got a job in the head office where I’ve been ever since in a job that’s the same as it always was but also completely different.
I’ve written a book, but you knew that.
I bought my own flat in 2009 and am only just finishing the decorating.
In 2011, I travelled around Australia and just after I came back, I met my best friend Aaron. He currently lives with me. We drink a lot and eat chicken nuggets.
I ran the marathon in 2012 and won’t ever do it again.
That’s the story of my life in a nutshell and I’ve still got two words left.