Shiny, Happy… Toasters

My toaster is about the only thing in my kitchen that I like at the moment.

Sure, it’s a bit grubby at the moment because I’m not the greatest cleaner in the world, but in theory it’s a very shiny red. Very posh.

The kitchen itself was put in when the flats were built five years ago.

A few people have said to me – why are you changing it? It’s only five years old!

But it was put in by the builders who were working to a budget.

It’s not a very big kitchen, the biggest issue I’ve always had is that it doesn’t have enough storage. But it’s generally a bit shit anyway.

SOMETHING under the sink has been leaking for a couple of years which has ended up rotting some of the paneling. Most of the cupboards are too small to be useful for anything and to top it all off the washing machine broke at the beginning of the year.

Obviously it hasn’t always worked a hundred per cent, because that would suggest a decent product had been bought, but this time it properly died.

My mum’s been doing my washing (and happily) my ironing since February.

I decided to get a new washing machine rather than repair the current one. But I also knew I wanted to install a new kitchen. I’d always sort of planned of doing it eventually now that most of the flat decorating is done, but I have moved it up the schedule a little.

The new kitchen is coming at the end of June. Once it’s installed you can expect lots of shiny instagram filtered pictures of it.

It will be a duck-egg blue that will compliment the light purple of the front room quite nicely.

I’m very excited about it, but it has occurred to me as I sit here imagining it in place, that the shiny red toaster will clash.

The only thing I like in my entire kitchen will have to go.

The upside is, I’m now in the market for a shiny, metallic blue toaster…

Prompt: The toaster. Discuss.


#BEDM14: Raindrops On Roses…

I happen to use six different kinds of social media on my phone. They’re a bit like supermarkets in a way. They’re all very similar, they all offer very similar things, but each of them are just slightly different.

I’m going to use this blog to tell you my favourite thing about each of them


LinkedIn – The Boring One

I don’t mean to be rude, but let’s face it, by design it’s the corporate side of social media. All a bit serious, all a bit po-faced. Not gonna be many drunken selfies on here, and if there are, you’re probably doing it wrong.

The good thing about it, though, is it gives me the chance to dream. I can see an amazing job across the other side of the world and I have a shared connection with the person who posted the job.

Maybe, just maybe…


Grindr – The Slutty One

Ok, so this one doesn’t actually live on my phone. At the moment. I briefly downloaded it again on Saturday night, before deleting it quickly again on Sunday morning.

Grindr’s great for meeting new guys… when you’re in a town or city larger that Swindon.When you’re in Swindon, it’s just full of guys you’ve already dated, or already rejected.

It’s perfect for when you’re on your own in a new town. Doesn’t just have to be about sex, but it can be if that’s what you want.


Instagram – The Arty One

Hot guys. Blokes that take nearly naked selfies of themselves. That’s one – amazing – side of Instagram.

The other side to it is it allows me to fool myself into thinking I’m a photographic genius. Real photographic geniuses probably hate it, probably think it’s a watering down of their art, but I love it.

I don’t like photos of me, but I like more of them since I discovered Instagram


Snapchat – The Silly One

I don’t like photos of me, and I like them even less since I discovered Snapchat. But they delete themselves after 10 seconds – hurrah!

Snapchat allows us to have a bit of fun with our mates, and its disposable. It doesn’t matter if we don’t look quite right (or if we’ve taken a picture of something we shouldn’t have), it’s just a bit of messing about.


Facebook – The One You Wish Wasn’t There

Facebook feels like the one that you keep because you feel you ought to. It’s quite handy to have around, mostly because it helps you keep track of birthdays of people. In short, Facebook keeps in contact with people so you don’t have to.

The added benefit to Facebook is that you can look at people used to know and feel good about yourself because of how fat they got.


Twitter – The Popular One

Twitter kind of has the best bits of all pieces of Social Media. Mess around with your mates. Make business connections. Keep in contact with old friends. Meet new people in new places.

Most importantly, look at pictures of hot guys with their tops off.

Twitter stops you from being lonely. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing or where you are. There’s usually somebody, somewhere doing the same thing as you. You can have quick disposable conversations, or you can really make some good friends.

Best of all, there’s a 140 character limit – you don’t have to put up with people wanging on about anything for very long.



In summary, social media’s great. But actually, the social aspect of all of these have existed for a long time before smart phones were even invented. The media element just makes it more accessible, more efficient.

Sometimes it’s good to put the phone down, grab a glass of wine, and go and sit outside with a friend.

(And look at hot guys with their tops off)

Prompt: Six of your favourite bits of social media