I dread the day I’m asked to be someone’s best man. Partly because I’m a rubbish party planner and would just arrange a stag night of drinking and films in my flat (always my flat, because then I can just stumble into bed). I’d be happy, but it probably wouldn’t be the most memorable of stag.
However, the main reason I’d dread it is because I’d have to give a speech. Actually, no, I’d have to write a speech.
I have no problem getting up in front of a group of people and giving a speech. I’ve even done it once before, when I was on a coach tour of Australia.
We had a little party on our first night in Melbourne the last stop on the tour, as it was the last time the whole group would be together. It was decided that someone ought to say a few words to thank our tour guide Danielle, and it was decided that it ought to be me.
I was fairly pissed – the night ended with an older couple getting frustrated as they escorted me back to the hotel from the bar, because I refused to cross the completely empty road until the little green man told me it was safe – and therefore happily agreed.
I winged it. It was funny, succinct and made Danielle cry, which was lovely. Everyone the next day told me I said some lovely words. I only wish I could remember them.
But I digress.
If I’m given notice, though, that I have to give a speech, I won’t be able to wing it. I’ll have to write it in advance. And people know I’m a writer so people will expect the best speech ever.
They’ll want funny. They’ll want emotional.
I would probably have some kind of breakdown.
Having said that, I would hopefully pull something out of the bag, I invariably do. This whole Blog Every Day in May malarkey is helping me with that. Basically all of my blog posts ARE speeches – I’ll bet I haven’t made any of you cry, though.
Prompt: If you had to give a speech what would you say